A Biblical Look at New Moon: Turning Inward

After her birthday party in the beginning of New Moon, Bella realizes that change is coming her way, but she never expects Edward to leave her. Yet he thinks it is the only way to save her and love her at the same time. Bella is crushed to the very core of her being. A hole has been carved into her heart that seems beyond repair. While Bella’s friendship with Jacob helps her survive, the aching pain of loss will not subside.

Bella figures out a way to connect with Edward again. It involves risky behavior. She approaches dangerous men on a dark street. She begins to ride a motorcycle. She pushes Jacob’s anger beyond what seems safe to her. And she hears Edward’s voice every time. Like a drug, one moment with his voice is never enough for her. She wants more, and she knows how to get it. Bella decides to risk her life to hear Edward’s voice. She jumps off a cliff into the roaring ocean.

“I didn’t want to fight anymore. And it wasn’t the light-headedness, or the cold, or the failure of my arms as the muscles gave out to exhaustion, that made me content to stay where I was. I was almost happy it was over. This was an easier death than others I’d faced. Oddly peaceful.

I thought briefly of the clichés, about how you were suppose to see your life flash before your eyes. I was so much luckier. Who wanted to see a rerun, anyway?

I saw him, and I had no will to fight. It was so clear, so much more defined than any memory. My subconscious had stored Edward away in flawless detail, saving him for this final moment. I could see his perfect face as if he were really there; the exact shade of his icy skin, the shape of his lips, the line of the jaw, the gold glinting in his furious eyes. He was angry, naturally, that I was giving up. His teeth were clenched and his nostrils flared with rage.

‘No! Bella, no!’

My ears were flooded with the freezing water, but his voice was clearer than ever. I ignored his words and concentrated on the sound of his voice. Why would I fight when I was so happy where I was? Even as my lungs burned for more air and my legs cramped in the icy cold, I was content. I’d forgotten what real happiness felt like.

Happiness. It made the whole dying thing pretty bearable.” Excerpt taken from New Moon, p. 361

People disagree on Bella’s mental state here. Many of my friends think Bella doesn’t intend to kill herself; they conclude Bella just didn’t think through her plan. But I have to disagree. I really think Bella is suicidal here. I realize that Bella’s inner dialogue may justify her behavior, but that’s how real depression works. Depression can cloud your vision, cut off your hearing and clog your thoughts. The voice of depression can call from unheard places. Bella’s actions seem detached from her mind. She isn’t herself, and she can’t stop it.

No matter what you think about Bella’s jump, depression and suicide are real problems in our world. As our lives become more stressful, the depression and suicide rates will only increase. Yet these problems are not new to us. In fact, some characters in the Bible struggled with the same. Let's look briefly at some of their stories.

Read the following verses and record in a journal or online document what you find. Why did these people suffer from depression? Which ones wanted to die? Why?

Jonah
Jonah 3:1-4:3 Why did Jonah want to die?
Jonah 4:4-11 What was God's response?

Elijah
I Kings 19:1-4 Why did Elijah want to die?
I Kings 19:5-13 What was God's response?

David
2 Samuel 12:1-12 Why was David upset?
2 Samuel 12:13-23 What was God's response?

Hagar
Genesis 21:8-16 Why was Hagar upset?
Genesis 21:17-21 What was God's response?

The prophet Jonah of the famous whale story wanted to die after the people of Nineveh looked to God. His bitterness overrode the joy of success. The prophet Elijah won a great battle for God and still wanted to die. His fear overrode his faith in God. King David suffered a deep depression when he realized the consequences of his actions with Bathsheba. His guilt overrode his reality. And Hagar, sweet Hagar, slave of Abraham and mother of his child Ishmael, sought death for her son and herself after being sent away by Abraham's wife Sarah. Her grief overrode the possibility of being loved. Yet God responded with love and truth for each one of them. Doesn't He offer us the same?